Oh! This is a toughy! And something that I’ve struggled with for years!
In fact, I still struggle with this one!
But over the last several months, I’ve been working on “letting go!”
Something that I started with my fear of living life.
Worrying about what other people are thinking about, especially when that person is yourself is such a waste!
And I should know!
Once my anxiety started kicking and entering junior high, suddenly what everyone thought of me was my top concern!
My entire self-worth was placed into the hands of other people, not a good thing!!
I would have highs and lows based and what I believed people thought of me.
If I was on good terms with the “in” crowd then my life was going to be okay.
However, when I was on the outs, and I found myself on the outs a lot, it was the exact opposite! And I would spend hours obsessing over what they thought of me and what I thought I could do to change their minds. I became a total mess!
I lost all sense of self and began very depressed.
And this happened in JUNIOR HIGH! I’m 27 and just now learned to let go and embrace who I truly am.
I would become insanely jealous of people who seemed to have the whole not caring what people think of me thing! And finally after accepting my fears and letting go of them in order to embrace life, I’ve decided to no longer let what other people think of me affect me!
With the exception of people whose opinions are actually important! Such as my significant other, parents, and SUPER close friends! Other than that my opinion of self is all that matters!
Well that and God’s.
With that! Here are my 7 tips for letting go of what people think of you.
How do you care less about what others think
1 // It starts with love
With loving yourself! It’s my experience that when I over stress about what other people think about me, it’s because I’m trying to work through something. This causes me to be extremely self conscious!
So where does it start? With loving yourself! Figuring out how amazing you are and what those other people think doesn’t hold a candle to the worth that you are!
2 // A lot of people probably aren’t actually thinking about you
I try to remind myself of this when I’m in public all the time!!
I’ve been crippled at the store because I’ve been overwhelmed with the thought of a bunch of people staring at and thinking about me! So much so that I’ve actually started the car and drove away.
Just remember though that those people have their own shopping to do! Their own experiences that they’re trying to live through. Most of them are not going to think twice about you.
I mean how many people do you go home and think about that you’ve just seen on your shopping outing?
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3 // Does it even matter
Alright, let’s say that one weird guy pr that woman over there actually goes home and says something about you…
Does what they think about you matter? If they tried to give you some sort of advice to somehow change, would you take it?
OR would you scoff at them and walk away?
The only opinions that should make you think twice are those that you consider close!
Those that you think are smart and have your best interest at heart!
Anybody else can go @%$! themselves!
4 // Preoccupy yourself and head
Even if you get past the tips above! It can still be tough going out and thinking that people are judging you!
When this happens, I like to try and fill my head. Basically just distract myself.
I’ll listen to a book or call my mom.
Or I Try to race myself and get whatever outing I’m doing LOL
If I have to go to the grocery store to grab a few things, I try to guess how long it’ll take me and then beat it!
It;s a silly thing but our heads often get us into a little bit of trouble, especially for us overthinkers!
5 // Choose to forget
For all of us who are stuck in the past and battle with ghosts of the past, forget about em!
You have the ability to ditch the past! And everyone in it that is let’s say unsavory.
For too long, I’ve dealt with high school BS. I’m not even sure why anymore!
But this has been insanely damaging on my mental health Until one day I decided that those people don’t matter to me anymore! Them or what they think of me.
Since then I’ve decided to forget about them. I want to wake up one day and suddenly be reminded of that time in myself and actually be happy that I NEEDED to be reminded!
I don’t want that part of my life to fill my head anymore! Or take up anymore of my time than it has!
I’m choosing to forget and thus accepting that what people in the past, think of me, doesn’t matter!
6 // Focus on yourself
Do your own thing boo!
Put yourself first and be damned what anyone else thinks.
Focus on your own goals and dreams, personal growth, family, new chapters whatever!
I promise that once you start focusing on yourself and what;s most important to you, you won’t give a lick about what anyone else thinks!
7 // Be gracious
Have you ever thought that maybe those people are simply envious of you?
That these people have a hole in their own lives and the only way that they know how to fill it is by getting a dig at you?
I’ve had several people in my life like this! It kills me! But I’ve learned that offering them grace and simply turning a deaf ear on the situation is the best thing you can do!
Not only will you drive them crazy because they aren’t getting to you but you’ll also be saving your heart a lot of ache!
I KNOW THAT IT’S HARD! Believe I know! I’m not perfect at it and I still let what people think of me, get to me.
More truth about how do you care less about what others think
I’m not saying that this is a one stop shop and suddenly you’ll be some sort of confidence machine!
No. Just no.
But with practice! Each day and putting or whatever will get easier and easier! Remember that! It’s not about being perfect but about progress!
Now! Drop me a line letting me know how you’ll be able to use these tips to get back your life!
For me, I would say #3! If that same person walked up to me to offer me his/her opinion, I wouldn’t give a rats butt! Your turn!
All the best,
Don’t forget about your next step!!
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